Wednesday, February 2, 2011

single girl valentines day

As Valentines Day is fast approaching, which I am constantly reminded of every time I enter a store and I am bombarded with everything pink, red, and heart related I can't help but think about relationships (or my lack there of).

Once upon a time, I was 16 and madly in love with a boy. We were going to get married, have beautiful babies and be the perfect couple. We lived happily ever after for 3+ years, and then one thing led to another and my real life fairy tale dissolved. It has now been over a year and a half since I have been boyfriendless, and I often find myself thinking that it's a good thing, and sometimes on my weak days, it's a bad, sad and pathetic thing. Do you really need a relationship to be happy?

I have realized that I am not the type of girl who *has* to have a boyfriend. I talk to guys, meet guys, but unless I really see something working out in the long term, I let it fizzle and keep on going with my life. Call it fear of getting hurt, or being far too picky (which my mother says) but, I just don't feel it's productive to jump into a relationship solely to have a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, many people are madly in love, and have great success having a serious boyfriend and then another, but I personally don't act this way.

So all this constant talk of Valentines Day and your "sweetheart" I got into thinking about my past relationship, my first and only true love. It's been a while, and he is someone I will always love, but we simply were not meant to be. I have accepted this, and have moved on with my life (accept for those weak days that getchya) but, I can't help but look back and think about our relationship. I've realized that in that time from when I was 16 till now, where I am 21 I have learned and grown so much. I can't help but to think that all the time I spent with him taught me so much, and that's something I have never really thanked him for.

In our relationship I was the perfect girlfriend. I don't mean that in a self centered way, but a bagillion people told me I was on a daily basis. He was my world, I would have done and did do anything for him. You may be thinking, wow, what a nice girl - or wow what a pathetic girl. I think the argument could go either way. But, I did learn a lot from that, and here are a few lessons I think every girl should remember!

1. Don't ever make someone your whole world, because one day when they are gone, you're going to be very lost and alone without a world.
2. Be someone's princess. Too often girls forget we truly are princesses and we deserve to be treated like one!
3. Don't let the relationship become a one way street. Make sure everything is mutual.
4. Live in the moment. I created a fantasy future with my ex, and when that future didn't come true, well I was one destroyed girl.
5. Have fun. Don't spend time arguing and fighting, enjoy each others company.
6. Don't assume the worst, because you will make yourself believe it whether it is true or not!
7. Do not lose your friends over a guy. EVER! There is no excuse for this behavior, you need your girlfriends.
8. Do not put up with being be-littled. You are a princess, remember that!
9. Don't be TOO nice. Guys like a challenge sometimes!
10. Be yourself. You can only put a facade up for so long before people see behind the mask.

I have learned endless amounts of lessons which I will take with me in my next relationship. Did you learn any valuable lessons from an ex love or current love?

This all may seem like crazy talk, but for me - it's what I've learned in my personal experience.

Back to the whole Valentines Day topic, my Valentine this year will be one of my best girlfranns M! I am super excited to celebrate being single with her, and embracing the day, rather then wearing black and turning to my main men Ben and Jerry!

Hope you have a great V-Day if you have a love, and if you don't celebrate the love of friendship!


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